MOONLIGHT PRANCE and SUNLIGHT DANCE written by Serena Gingold Allen
Board books are not only a sturdy addition to any bookshelf, but also a very delightful one as well for young budding readers.
I’m really excited that Serena Gringold Allen is here to share her writing and revision journey for not one, but TWO joyfully delightful board books about wild animals called MOONLIGHT PRANCE and SUNRISE DANCE with gorgeous illustrations by Teagan White.
Serena is very familiar with wild animals…she grew up in the foothills outside of Yosemite!
(For anybody that hasn’t visited…you should, it’s lovely).
She now lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, but that hasn’t stopped her from spending time outdoors hiking and rock climbing with her husband and two children.
And now, onto the interview…
Thank you for taking the time to share the journey of your books! What is the story behind the stories? How did you come up with the idea?
When my first child was about six months old, my husband and I were talking about all of the board books that we’d been reading. We both agreed that most of them were boring and we were sick of reading them. I asked my husband what would make a board book enjoyable for him. He said that he would like a book that had more than one word per page, was fun to read aloud, and that he would like to learn something new when he read it.
A few months later, I was awake at night breastfeeding and feeling all alone. I started to wonder who else was awake in the world and I began imagining all the nocturnal animals outside my window frolicking and having fun. And then the first rhyming couplet of MOONLIGHT PRANCE popped into my head.
My second book SUNRISE DANCE (the companion to MOONLIGHT PRANCE) began with some guidance from my editor. She wanted a companion with a daytime setting, a spring-y feel, and plenty of movement. Eventually I decided to write a morning story for my son, who loved to be read to first thing in the morning.
That is so lovely! How long did it take from idea to published book?
For MOONLIGHT PRANCE, five years, seven months. For SUNRISE DANCE, four years, seven months.
What was the revision timeline for each book?
For MOONLIGHT PRANCE:
September 25, 2016: Wrote the first draft
September 26, 2016: I kept animals the same, changed some rhymes and rearranged a little to accommodate the new rhymes.
Beginning of October 2016: had two critique partners read it
November 14, 2016: I added one extra couplet after thinking about standard board book lengths
December 11, 2016: I removed two animals and added in two new animals; reworded ending
January 2017: I got feedback from my two critique partners
February 1, 2017: I emoved the new animals from the previous draft because they didn’t fit with the rest of the animals and added in two new animals that worked better
February 4, 2017: Submitted to publishers
August 16, 2017: I received an email from editor at Chronicle Books to see if MOONLIGHT PRANCE was still available because she wanted to acquire it and waited an anxious nail-biting for a month while I waited to see if it would actually be acquired
September 20, 2017: Received email from editor to say she wanted to acquire both MOONLIGHT PRANCE and a companion title (SUNRISE DANCE didn’t exist at this point, I wrote it at her request after receiving the email)
September 2017: I queried agetns and got four offers and chose an agent to represent me
November 29, 2017: received draft contract from publisher
December 14, 2017: received final contract from publisher
February 25, 2019: final revision based on recommendations from editor (we had changed a couple words earlier, but this was the only formal revision and there were just a few words that needed tweaking)
For SUNRISE DANCE:
September 24, 2017: Wrote the first draf! I played around with several different openings and drafted two different versions in one document
September 25, 2017: added titles for both versions and tweaked a few lines
September 26, 2017: the first two versions had random animals mixed together, but this version I decided on a farm theme. I pulled lines from the first two drafts that had farm animals and added some new lines to go with the theme
September 27, 2017: made a few small changes and sent to my editor
September 29, 2017: changed a few things based on feedback from my editor
September 30, 2017: made a few more small changes
January 2018: heard from my editor that the farm theme was a no-go
January 20, 2018: Created a new theme of forest animals
January 21, 2018: tweaked a few things and submitted to editor
Waited for a year until we got closer to publication (one of the original release dates was for sometime in 2020)
February 20, 2019: removed personification elements, changed some of the animals, and submitted to my editor)
February 25, 2019: made a couple tweaks based on suggestions from my editor
Wow, that is quite a journey! Thank you for sharing each and every step. It’s amazing to learn how much goes into each book. What was the hardest part about revising?
I wrote MOONLIGHT PRANCE in rhyme and I had never written in rhyme before. So I definitely had some struggles with figuring out how to rhyme well and how to make the meter work (I did it all by ear). I also had each animal alliterate with the movement word I chose and that was tricky trying to make it work right. It was like putting together a complicated puzzle.
By the time I wrote SUNRISE DANCE, I had had some practice with rhyming, so that was easier than with MOONLIGHT PRANCE, but I struggled with having all of the animals alliterate with a dance name and still have good rhythm. At some point I realized I could use some dance movements (like shimmy) in place of dance names and that really helped.
Did you have an ‘ah-ha!’ moment with your manuscript during the revision process? If so, what triggered it?
My first draft of MOONLIGHT PRANCE contained six rhyming couplets. I wanted it to be a board book, but I hadn’t spent much time looking at common lengths of board books. After a bunch of study, I determined that the book should be 14 pages long (or seven spreads, meaning I’d have to add one more couplet).
Then I realized that at this length it could be a picture book too, if the couplets were separated across 14 spreads. This was a big moment for me, because I had been reluctant to even really think about submitting a board book (I had heard it is a really tough market, particularly for authors who don’t also illustrate). So I actually pitched MOONLIGHT PRANCE as a picture book. I was thrilled that my editor saw it for what it was and wanted it to be a board book.
For SUNRISE DANCE the hardest thing was trying to figure out how to make it a companion title. I had the structure and the idea of the animals waking up and getting ready, but it wasn’t right for the longest time. Draft after draft, it just wasn’t working to go along with MOONLIGHT PRANCE. At long last, my editor suggested I get rid of the ulta-personification of the animals and voila! I finally was able to write a near-perfect draft in one sitting. It all clicked and I wondered afterwards why I hadn’t realized what was wrong with it from the beginning. Thank goodness for editors who can see the whole picture!
What advice do you have for other writers? Are there any resources you would recommend to help with the revision process?
If you’re not already in a critique group, find one to join. It could be face-to-face or online. But I’ve found that having a critique group helps me turn my stories from OK to submission ready. For revising rhyming stories, I always have my rhyming dictionary and thesaurus in reach. I actually prefer the hard copies to what’s available online. It gives me a moment to pull away from the story and think and that’s often just what I need to rework the wording on something.
Critique groups are so key!
And here is a snippet from an earlier draft of MOONLIGHT PRANCE…
While you’re asleep, some animals play.
They wake at night and sleep all day.
And the final spread…
And, here’s a fun bonus! Serena has also kindly shared the opening lines from first draft of SUNRISE DANCE:
When you wake with the sun’s first ray,
Animals also begin their day.
As well as the final spread for SUNRISE DANCE…
Be sure to follow Serena on Twitter (@Serenagingold) and Instagram (@Serenagingoldallen) and get her latest book updates on her website SerenaGingoldAllen.com!
You can purchase her books online at Indiebound or your local bookstore.
Thank you, Serena! I can’t wait for these beautiful books and your future stories to come!